


Untitled

by Talenachimaru



Category: Original Work
Genre: Death, Descent into Madness, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Original Fiction, Platonic Male/Male Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-08-03
Packaged: 2017-12-22 08:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/910870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talenachimaru/pseuds/Talenachimaru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake struggles with accepting the death of his best friend.  When does denial become madness?  Deals primary with death and grief. Original story based on real events. This work is in revision - comments and suggestions are welcome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untitled

When Jake arrived, the ambulance had already removed the body. Still in a daze from the shocking news received from the telephone call and from being awoken abruptly at 4am, he opened the car door to step into the rain. The blue lights reflected from the drenched streets, casting an eerie glow over the scene. As the unrelenting downpour began to penetrate his cotton jacket, Jake reached back to pull his hood over his head. The tow truck had pulled up at the same moment of his arrival and the driver began talking to the police officers standing next to the wreck site. A smaller group of people was loitering behind the vehicle, speaking in hushed tones, inaudible over the sound of the rain. Jake walked slowly to crashed remains of the Toyota Camry, leaning over to peer through the passenger side window.  
“Jake!” He glanced up at the young woman, who had broken away from the group behind the vehicle. She approached swiftly, embracing him in a quick hug. Her cheeks were puffy, tears indistinguishable from the drops of rain on her face. “The ambulance just took him away. They believe he must have died on impact.”  
Jake nodded slowly, turning to look back at the car. “Right.” The damage really did not look that bad. The vehicle was obviously totaled, but it did not look like the wreck would result in a death. He turned to look at the girl. “Are you okay, Vanessa?”  
“I had just spoken to him earlier,” Vanessa said in disbelief. “I was so excited about spending this weekend with him since he was coming home for my graduation. He told me about his break-up with Sydney and that he had invited you to go out tonight.”  
“I didn’t go,” Jake mumbled, clearing his throat. “Obviously.”  
“My God- Jake – I just can’t believe-” Vanessa choked, her shoulders starting to shake.  
Listening to her sob, Jake looked around the crash site in a daze. This is a dream. The accident had happened less than one mile from the apartment. Kevin would be selfish enough to die the week of his sister’s graduation. How would he find someone else to split the rent with him? Who identifies the body after a car accident? Did Kevin drink too much at Paul’s? Did he wreck because of the rain? Will Kevin’s father donate his huge collection of manga to charity? How long would he have to stand outside in this storm? What purpose could he possibly have here?

******************************************************************************************************************************************************** 

After peeling off his drenched clothing and taking a scalding shower, Jake made the necessary phone calls to his family and some of Kevin’s friends.  
“I am coming over,” Paul said quickly. “I do not think you need to be alone right now.”  
“No,” Jake sighed. “I am going to lie down and get some rest. I will be fine. Really.”  
“Jake- you were like brothers-”  
“I am fine,” Jake said sternly.  
“Okay,” Paul gave in. “Just call me later. And get some rest. Let me know about arrangements.”

******************************************************************************************************************************************************** 

Sitting on the edge of Kevin’s bed, Jake poured his third shot of whiskey. After attempting to sleep several times, he was unable to calm his nerves. After a few hours, Jake relocated to the couch and finally to Kevin’s room, bringing the bottle of whiskey with him. He stared at the bronze liquid as he slowly lifted the glass from the table. Downing the whiskey, he was reminded of how Kevin used to tap the glass against the table after taking a group shot. He leaned forward, allowing the alcohol to burn his throat and numb his brain. Falling back against the pillows, Jake closed his eyes, sighing. Kevin’s cheap cologne still permeated the bed linens.

******************************************************************************************************************************************************** 

Closing the door on the last of his visitors, Jake allowed his head to fall against the door. The silence was comforting. He was tired of the parade of friends and family coming over to keep him company. The entire charade was exhausting and he was sick of the constant questioning. The worried glances and quiet introspective looks. He parents were particularly annoying, offering to stay the night and calling non-stop since the accident. Jake groaned and slowly turned around, shuffling into the kitchen.  
As he pulled the bottle of whiskey out of the refrigerator, he wished the funeral was already over. Jake knew that his family was concerned about his lack of emotion, but it did not really bother him. He felt like a zombie, floating through a fog. As he mindlessly placed two glasses on the kitchen table, Jake sat down at his usual seat and filled his glass to the brim.  
Their childhood friend, Nicole, had dropped off a photo album of pictures, chronicling Kevin’s life. Jake’s birthday parties in elementary school, playing paintball on his parent’s property in sixth grade, the fight club that Kevin created when they were sixteen, Jake’s twenty-first birthday, Kevin getting wasted at The Shins concert. Nicole had flipped through the book, crying at the appropriate times and laughing softly at some of the funnier pictures, while Jake’s friends leaned over to make comments. Jake had taken the album and placed it on the coffee table. It remained there untouched.  
Jake took several long drinks from his glass, pausing to fill the second one with the amber liquor. He laughed and pushed the glass toward Kevin’s usual seat.

******************************************************************************************************************************************************** 

Jake left his sunglasses on during the funeral. He was trying to hide that he was intoxicated, although many people present silently believed so. After looking in the mirror before leaving for the funeral, Jake was frightened at his expression. Although he did not recognize the man in the reflection, he was terrified at the madness in his eyes.

The cell phone continued to vibrate against the pillow, emitting a low buzz that sounded low and irritating against the bed. Jake reached over, silencing it.  
Kevin’s parents had come by earlier to gather some of the belongings in his room. They left the manga collection. Kevin would have wanted Jake to have it. Jake hated manga.  
They also left a portion of Kevin’s ashes in a small plastic container. For Jake to distribute in a fitting location significant to their friendship.

******************************************************************************************************************************************************** 

Jake dropped his classes. He did not really understand the point of going to college. Kevin was a double major in history and education. He was going to apply for graduate school in the spring.  
“Without the extra courses,” Jake said seriously, “I can devote more time to helping Kevin with that Trig class.” He laughed. “Kevin has always been horrible at math.”  
“Jake,” his mother’s voice sounded really distant over the phone. “I think I am going to come over.”  
“Mom, I really have a lot to do!” Jake said cheerfully, turning the volume up on his mobile. “I will talk to you tomorrow.”  
“Jake?” His mother started carefully. “I think you need to move home for a while – Maybe talk to someone?”  
“There is really only one person I can talk to about this, “ Jake said quietly, pushing the small plastic container around the surface of the table with his finger.

******************************************************************************************************************************************************** 

Jake used dark bed sheets to block the light from entering the windows of his apartment. He was surprised that he hadn’t heard from the landlord yet. Maybe Kevin had paid the rent last week. Jake was usually begging Kevin to hand over his half. At least things had turned around for the better.  
Jake heard someone knocking at the door. He was lying on his back on the living room floor, balancing Kevin’s plastic cup on his forehead. The knocking persisted.  
“Jake! Are you in there?”  
His mother.  
“Hey man! Answer the door! They have been asking about you at work!”  
Paul.  
Jake groaned and flipped over. The plastic cup fell from his forehead, rolling across the floor and under the couch. Panicked, he scrambled after it, trying to grasp it before it rolled out of his reach. Jumping up, he forcefully pushed the couch away from the wall, causing the furniture to squeak loudly against the hardwood floor.  
“Jake!” His mom yelled, pounding forcefully on the door. “What’s that noise? Are you okay?”  
Spotting the small container, he quickly grabbed it and turned toward the door. “GO AWAY!”  
Jake collapsed on the couch with the plastic cup as the two outside the door fell into an abrupt silence. Leaning over to take several drinks from the bottle, Jake listened as his mother’s pleas resumed. Paul made a few attempts to negotiate entrance into the apartment. After a half and hour, Jake got up to look through the peephole. They were gone.

******************************************************************************************************************************************************** 

Jake emptied the contents of the plastic container into his glass, pouring the whiskey in slowly. Today was Kevin’s birthday. He paused to stir the liquid, distributing the ashes evenly in the glass. Jake wanted to Kevin to the indie theater downtown. They always ended up stuck at the apartment playing video games. As Jake resumed filling his glass with whiskey, he started to hum an old Radiohead song.  
Jake stepped way from the table, the glass bottle slipping from his hands. The empty container of whiskey thumped against the floor and rolled under the couch. He swayed slightly and wondered why it did not break into a million pieces.

******************************************************************************************************************************************************** 

Jake loaded the six boxes of manga into the bed of his truck and walked slowly to the driver’s side door. As he settled into the seat and cranked the engine, he smacked his lips, still tasting the ashes in his mouth. Pulling out of the parking lot, Jake had to close one eye to steady his vision. The moon was bright in the sky and the stars became more visible as he drove away from the apartment complex.  
Kevin was still here, somewhere on this road.


End file.
